5 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day if You’re Single

Valentine’s Day: the day all girls without a boyfriend cry relentlessly, listen to the old Taylor Swift on repeat, and lock themselves in their rooms so they can eat as much chocolate as they want. I’m sure there’s a male version of this too, I’m just not sure what it is.

But why are we letting this get to us? Why spend an entire day in misery for artificial reasons? Valentine’s Day is about love, and — spoiler alert! — there’s much more to love than the kind between a boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, I’ve narrowed down five other aspects you can focus on this Wednesday instead of just complaining about not having a date.

1. Celebrate by Loving God

God loved us before we loved Him, and He certainly loves us more than any boyfriend or girlfriend ever will. Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to thank God for His incredible love and to tell Him how much you love Him too! You might not be able to send God chocolates, but you can spend extra time in prayer or Bible reading and thank Him for your blessings.

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  
-Psalms 18:1-2
If you pay attention to these laws and are careful to follow them, then the Lord your God will keep his covenant of love with you, as he swore to your ancestors. He will love you and bless you and increase your numbers. 
- Deuteronomy 7:12-13a
To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.
- Mark 12:33

2. Celebrate by Loving Your Family

Your family are the people closest to you who love you and put up with you even at your worst. Depending on how many siblings you have, how old you are, etc. there are different things you can do. For example:

  • Making Valentine’s Day cards together for each other
  • Getting one sheet of paper per person, and on each person’s sheet write everything you love about them
  • Go out together and do something fun
  • Watch a movie and laugh at the cheesy romance

While I’m blessed to be a part of a healthy family, I know not everyone has this in their life. Still, I strongly encourage you to find a way to bless someone in your family. Maybe it’s calling a relative you haven’t seen in a while or apologizing for an argument, or really anything you can do.

3. Celebrate by Loving Your Friends

Valentine’s Day is a great day to appreciate your friends — online and offline. If you can, do an activity together, like going out to dinner or staying and having a board game tournament (or whatever works for you). If that’s not possible, just send them a text saying how much you appreciate them, or maybe find a cheesy e-card and send it to them.

4. Celebrate by Loving Yourself

Okay, so maybe locking yourself in your room to eat chocolate and be overly dramatic is a little fun. Eat candy, set aside time to do something you enjoy, take a bubble bath, and improve your mood. If you know how to make yourself happy and can put yourself in a good mood, you’ll be a million times better at doing the same for others around you.

5. Celebrate by Loving Strangers

Can you say random acts of kindness? Whether or not they’re single, there can always a little more love in the world. Smile at people on the street, give random compliments, and maybe even do the greatest act love: sharing about Christ.

Here are a few ideas for RAKs to bless a stranger:

  • Send Valentines to a nursing/retiring home
  • Smile kindly at everyone (some people say that smiles from strangers have stopped them from committing suicide, so don’t feel silly)
  • Pay for the person behind you
  • Pray for the person behind you
  • Compliment other girls
  • Put quarters in the candy machines at Walmart/the mall/wherever you have them

There’s more to a young person’s life than dating, especially since you probably won’t end up marrying them. Appreciating the other things in life will make you happier and more content while you’re waiting for the right person.

What about you? How are you celebrating Valentine’s Day? Do you prefer chocolate bars or candy hearts? Do you make your own cards or buy them from the store? Share with me!

A Surprisingly Simple Way to Make + Keep Friends

Have you ever had a hard time making friends? Because I have. 

When I was eight, I was the girl in my dance class who had no one to talk to. At ten, I was the weird girl in church who actually followed all the rules and didn’t know the famous pop artists. But things began to change. As I went to a new co-op, church, and started new activities, I met girls who reached out to me. It still touches me when one of my friends sees me sitting alone and practically forces me to sit with her, or when someone texts first. 

Still, I felt lonely, and this is where the surprise came in. Last year, a girl from my church invited me over and we had a great time. However, later on, I ended up feeling third-wheeled by her and another girl.  I barely even engaged in conversation with her for months, thinking she didn’t like me. But in December, our moms talked. Turns out she thought that I didn’t like her so she didn’t feel comfortable talking to me, all the while I didn’t feel comfortable talking to her because I thought she didn’t like me. 

A few weeks ago she stayed two nights and we had a great time.

Just to be clear, I’m not posting this as a form of self-pity or to get attention. I’m talking about this because I know there are other girls in the same situation as I was, and I genuinely want to help them. So, here are three tips I’ve learned to help make and keep friendships: 

1. Get Out of Your Own Head

That situation caused me to find out what I was missing when it came to making friendships and keeping them, thanks to my mom pushing me to just go to talk her. I just decided I was lesser-than, and because of that, I was missing out on an important aspect of life.

Don’t assume that people don’t want to talk to you. And while some people probably actually don’t, I’ve found that most people don’t look at you as negatively as you look at yourself. Head’s up: no one is going to care about your pimples and nobody remembers that one time you embarrassed yourself two years ago (and if they do, they probably don’t care).

Don’t be proud; be humble, but at the same time, don’t be negative. You’re making it worse for everyone. 

2. Find Friends

Okay, that sounds pretty cheesy, but really, look for people you want to be friends with. Especially keep an eye out for other girls who seem lonely. Chances are, they’re not being seclusive; they’re as lonely as you (from an extrovert’s point of view).

Aside from that, look for girls who are kind, can encourage you in your faith, be a good influence, and are generally fun to be around. 

3. Don’t be Afraid to Engage First

Don’t be afraid to be social! It’s okay to text first and start conversations. Don’t think too much about it. The more time you have to worry, the more you worry. 

A couple summers ago, I read part of the book Growing Up Duggar and one piece of advice stood out to me: people like to talk about themselves. Ask questions about them and actually listen with interest and you’re at the start of a good relationship.

Again, we tend to overthink things, but it’s never as bad as you think.  

In short, one major thing that could be holding you back from making friends is yourself. Don’t be afraid to just go and be friendly.

What about you? Do you ever have problems making friends? Have you ever been in a similar scenario? What’s one time you took a chance and it paid off?